TWELVE: Health or Punishment

 I choose health and healing over diets and punishing myself.

Doing some more reading and came across today’s statement.

I have always felt that diets and exercise are punishment.  I haven’t been a ‘good person’ making ‘good choices’ so I must follow someone else’s description of ‘good’.  Why can’t I love carrots as much as cookies!?!  It would be so much easier if a fresh stirfry could be made as quickly as a grilled cheese.  It’s not that I’m lazy…. I do like to cook fresh meals.  I just have so many other things I would rather be doing.

After two months of writing, I am trying to see a pattern in my thoughts.  Perhaps I am still too close to see it.  I feel that there is something in the writing that should be slapping me in the face and saying  “HERE!  HERE is what you are missing!”  That ‘something’ that will make me suddenly able to say no to ‘sugar and carbs and pastries, oh my’!  If only it were that simple.

I am proud to say that I have been walking much more regularly for an hour on most mornings.  I worry that when my routine changes upon my return to work, so will my resolve to be active.  However, my friend that I have been walking with has promised to keep me to my word and find time to walk in the evenings.  I need to choose health and not see exercise as a punishment!

I’m walking on a razor blade
Careful not to cross the line
Every little step I take
It’s punishment time

  Korn: Punishment Time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7sF9k_g3mA

*warning: not an uplifting song…. But great guitar riffs J