EIGHTEEN: BIg FAT Stress

I have no need to put someone down to
elevate myself.

I wish stress decreased my appetite. Or at least my appetite for sugary carbs. Like cake.  

 The last six weeks of my return to work have been exhausting. My "re-assimilation" into my daily work day was difficult. The last time I was blessed with a gap in teaching, when the girls were 13/14 years old, I was off for an entire 14 months. I went back to work rested and ready to tackle the education world once again. Not this time. 

I can't decide what is the "straw" that seems to have broken me:

I'm 8 years older
I had 7 less months
My dad needed much more assistance
Erin was not at school during the day 
The work environment was not what I expected
I have changed

The last is the most puzzling to me. I must have changed since I have continued living and life changes you. But I'm not sure why I'm not feeling the familiar energy from my teaching day. 

I went back to a school that was an amalgamation of two rival schools. There were many strikes against the success of this new school and when I returned in February many students and staff seemed somewhat shellshocked. I have to admit that February is always a low energy month for me personally so perhaps this is just the first time I was aware that others felt the same as I usually do. 

 Here we are at the Ides of March and I still don't feel comfortable in my workplace. This causes me stress. 

Just today I was speaking with a friend about how important it is for our students to feel accepted and safe in the classroom in order for them to learn effectively. I have to say that this filters into my workplace as well. I do not feel ...... I'm not sure how I feel.

 I definitely feel stressed and I'm not sure it's just because I'm back to work. 

Working 9 to 5. What a way to make a living. Barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving.              -- Dolly Parton  '9 to5'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwDMFOLIHxU